A Sacrifice For A Promise
by TheUSofCalzona
Summary: Post 6x20. Picks up where the show left off with Callie and Arizona kissing in bed.


A/N - Had this on my LJ and wanted to bring it over!

Cowritten with walking_weapon

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Arizona kisses Callie deeply, feeling Callie's tears on her cheeks as their lips press together. Pulling the clip out of Callie's hair her hands quickly tangle in it and tug Callie closer to her.

Callie kisses Arizona back just as deeply, pressing herself closer to her. Reaching up she tangles her hand in the hair at the base of Arizona's neck. She never wants this kiss to end, because as desperate as this kiss is it feels right. Everything feels right when she kisses Arizona and she knows that once they stop kissing, once they go back to trying to talk, nothing may ever be right again.

Arizona pushes Callie onto her back, straddling her waist and then pushing Callie's top and bra aside. Immediately latching onto Callie's newly exposed breasts, Arizona bites hard enough to leave bruises.

Callie cries out in response to Arizona's rough treatment even as she feels her arousal building. Her hands frantically caress, rub and squeeze every inch of Arizona she can reach as she feels herself rapidly losing control. Part of her knows this isn't right, that it isn't going to fix anything, but it feels too good stop.

Kissing whatever skin she can reach Arizona frantically pulls their clothes off. She wants to feel Callie against her, wants to claim Callie as hers even if just for a moment. She puts her thigh between Callie's legs and rocks her hips hard, needing the contact in a raw and desperate way like never before.

A moan rips from Callie's throat as Arizona's thigh connects with her center. She's never seen Arizona like this, so desperate and frantic. It's turning her on like crazy and she just wishes it didn't feel so much like goodbye.

Arizona moves her lips up Callie's throat as her hands knead Callie's breasts; her thigh moving hard and fast against Callie's center. Feeding off the moans and cries she's drawing from her lover she feels her own arousal skyrocket.

Callie gasps into Arizona's mouth as her orgasm starts to rush through her. Tearing her mouth away from Arizona's hungry kiss she cries raggedly as her climax hits, bucking and writhing against Arizona's thigh.

Arizona lets out a deep growl as her orgasm hits her hard. She doesn't move off of Callie as she pants, trying to recover. Her hand moves down and tangles with Callie's, needing the intimacy that gesture has always held between them.

"I love you, don't forget that alright?" Arizona whispers, her voice heavy with emotion.

Callie doesn't acknowledge Arizona's words even as they cut through her haze and register with a sickening clarity. Instead she just lies limp and unmoving under her lover, eyes tightly shut as she fights back tears. Arizona's words and how close they were to goodbye echoing through her mind.

Arizona moved off Callie, wrapping the sheet around her before putting the blanket over them both. Putting her head on Callie's shoulder and an arm around her waist she held her tightly. She didn't know what to say, what to do to ease her lover's pain, and the fact that she was the cause of that pain wasn't lost on her. She didn't want a child and until this point of her life she never had a problem with that.

Callie felt her heart clench as Arizona moved off of her, and then start back up when she curled up against her. She wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't. She couldn't think, or speak or move. She felt almost numb, except for where Arizona's arm lay across her and her breath caressed her neck.

"I'm sorry I yelled before." Arizona whispers softly, trying to talk, trying to get them on the same page. This is the best relationship she's ever had, the only one she's ever seen lasting a lifetime, and she doesn't want to let it go.

"You don't have to apologize. You were upset. People yell when they're upset." Callie sighs softly.

"I still shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry I don't want what you want." Arizona whispers, her eyes closing tightly as she says the words. She's waiting for Callie to break up with her, she doesn't want her to, but she doesn't see any other way out of this for them.

"If you want I can move back to my apartment for a few days. Give you time to think if this is what you really want." Arizona forces out past the lump in her throat. They're the last words she wants to be saying, but she figures she owes Callie at least this much. It's her fault they're in this position after all. If she had just spoken up sooner, or said something when Callie told her about trying to get pregnant when she was with George…but she didn't and now they're here.

"No. Don't go. The only time I feel any better is in your arms." Callie pleads, wrapping her arm around Arizona's waist tightly.

Arizona nods slowly, looking up at Callie's face. If this conversation is going to be their last one as girlfriends she wants to spend as much of it as possible looking at Callie's gorgeous face.

"I know that for you family is kids, but to me, you and I make a family." Arizona says quietly.

Callie nods absently, trying to figure out something to say. She's usually bad with words, she's used to that, but this is a whole new level of ineptitude.

"I don't know what to say. I don't want to fight anymore, but I don't know what to say." Callie groans in frustration.

"We're too good together not to be together. How about we just stop talking about kids?" Arizona asks as she kisses Callie softly. She knows it's a selfish request but she can't stop herself from making it.

"You really think that'll work? You don't think I'll wake up in five or ten years and regret settling?" Callie asks, voicing the one fear that's been keeping her from doing what her heart has been screaming at her to do, drop this and just be with the woman she loves.

"Then break up with me." Arizona whispers softly, her voice laced with pain as she looks at Callie's still closed eyes. "I don't want kids Callie. I spend sixteen hours a day around kids. I like my job and I like the kids that I help, but I want my personal life to not have them. It's the only way I can do my job."

"I can't." Callie whispers painfully, her heart rending in two at Arizona's suggestion. She knows it's the logical solution, the only clear answer to this issue that has no compromise, but she can't do it.

"I can't have kids with you Callie, I love you and I want to spend forever with you, but I can't. If you're going to resent me down the road because I couldn't give you what you want then I don't see how this is going to work." Arizona says, fighting to keep her voice even.

Finally opening her eyes Callie turns her head to look at her...well she supposed they were still girlfriends. She scrutinizes Arizona's face, taking in every detail and really seeing her for the first time all day.

"Look me in the eye and promise it's always going to be this good. Because you're right, we're good together, amazing even. So look me in the eye and promise that's never going to change." Callie begs.

Arizona shifts so she's sitting up, the sheet around her. She looks into Callie's eyes, seeing all the pain and love her girlfriend is feeling. Beyond that though she sees hope fighting to stay alive and she realizes, perhaps for the first time, how all in Callie is. She thinks over Callie's words for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to say. She knows what Callie's asking, she asking for forever. She's asking for her to promise that if she gives up her dream of having kids it won't be for nothing.

"I promise you we'll always be this good together. I promise I'll always love you this much, probably even more, and I'll always hold you even when we're fighting. I promise to love you even if I don't like you, and that you'll always be the first person I go to to tell about my day, to cry with or laugh with. I promise I won't go anywhere." Arizona whispers, holding Callie's hand tightly between both of hers. As she looks at Callie, waiting for a reaction, she can't help but feel a bit insecure. Callie is so sure she wants a baby, she's dreamt about it for years, can what she's promising really compare?

"Ok." Callie sighs, running a hand over her face. "Ok, if I have to choose between someday having kids or having you now and never letting go...I choose you."

"Don't pick me if you are going to resent me for this Calliope." Arizona whispers, a hint of begging in her voice. She wants more than anything for what Callie's saying to be true but she doesn't want to put either of them through the heartache of someday down the road realizing it isn't.

"If you can promise me you're always going to love me, I can promise you that I won't resent you. I can't promise I won't have some tough moments, like when Mark finally gets his act together and has a kid, but I can promise how I feel about you is never going to change." Callie replies immediately, mostly to convince Arizona and partly to convince herself.

"We can baby sit you know, sometimes, not all the time." Arizona mutters, hoping to ease the loss she's sure Callie is feeling. "And you could be a Big Sister and help a kid that's already here."

"We'll see how things go, being a Big Sister might just make this harder, at least for now. But you know Mark will freak out no matter what the circumstances are. I'm sure I'll have to hold his hand through most of it." Callie chuckles.

"We'll get through this, if you're sure about this choice we'll get through it. I'll hold you when you cry and I'll be here to listen anytime you need it. I get that this is hard for you, it's a big sacrifice, but if you're sure then I'm here." Arizona comforts Callie while at the same time making one last plea to ensure Callie really is sure about this choice.

"I'm sure. Like I said, it's going to be hard for me, but I'm sure. I know it seems sudden and out of the blue, but really we've been dancing around this for so long that it's not all that sudden. I've done nothing but think about this for weeks, I may have thought we'd settle things differently, but I'm not going to lie and say I never entertained this possibility. I'm sure." Callie says, her voice so full of conviction that for the first time neither of them doubts that she actually is sure.

"Ok." Arizona sighs, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and smiling a genuine dimpled smile for what feels like the first time in years.

"You are prepared for the fact that if Mark does end up having a kid, I'll be there every step of the way right? I mean I won't be raising the kid, but it'll be a lot different then just a friend having a kid." Callie explains tentatively. She doesn't want to push her luck but she knows she needs to be up front with Arizona.

"I know, and I can't say I'm completely prepared, but I'll figure it out and so long as him sleeping in our bed isn't part of helping him I'll be fine." Arizona replies with a smile. "You're a really good friend to him." She adds as she kisses Callie's shoulder, lying back down and pulling Callie down so she can snuggle next to her.

"He's been there for me through a lot. He saw me when no one else did. We have a complicated relationship sometimes but we just get each other." Callie shrugs as she settles down facing Arizona.

"You love him." Arizona says matter of factly, as she draws random patterns on Callie's side.

Taking Arizona's hand in hers Callie kisses her palm tenderly before entwining their fingers.

"Not the way I love you." Callie says as she looks deeply into Arizona's eyes.

Arizona wants to laugh and tell her that she knows that, but the look in Callie's eyes stops her.

"I know." She whispers, her thumb stroking Callie's hand. "I know you don't have those feelings for him anymore. I trust the two of you."

"Thank you. I know it was hard at first and I really appreciate your trust." Callie says quietly.

"I had a girlfriend that left me for a guy about four years ago." Arizona tells Callie, her cheeks turning a light red. "I thought at first it might happen with you too."

"I can understand that, me being a newborn and all, and Mark being...well Mark. It's never going to happen though, me leaving you for anyone. That girl was a fool to let you go and I'm no fool. That's why I'm here. Angry or upset or hurting, I'll always be here."

"You're not a newborn and you're anything but a fool. I'll always be here too." Arizona mumbles, fighting back tears as she moves closer to Callie. "You're you, and I love you." It's cheesy and she knows it but she doesn't care.

"And I love you." Callie replies as she snuggles down next to her girlfriend.

"Good night Callie." Arizona whispered, sleep calling her.

"Good night Ari." Callie whispers back, smiling at how at peace she finally feels. It still hurts a little when she thinks about the kids she'll never have, but knowing she'll always have the woman in her arms more than makes up for that.


End file.
